I Like To Describe My Life As

In Jail I Was Just Like Everybody Else, I Was Sitting There Praying, Feeling Caged.

The Bulls Talked To Just About Every Person Who Ever Met Me.

To Hang Out In A Gay Bar Or Put On A Sequined Halter Top Makes Me Feel Like A Total Person.

Wilt Chamberlain Lied When He Said He Had 20,000 Women.

I Can't Begin To Describe The Amount Of Crap I've Taken For Being A Lousy Free-throw Shooter.