I Like People, For A Little While.

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

I Think There's A Difference Between Making Comedy And Reporting Comedy. When You're A Joke Teller You Can Easily Fall Into The Second, You Can Show Up And Just Say The Jokes.

Every Fight Is A Food Fight When Youre A Cannibal.

I Used To Get Bummed Out When It Rained; Then I Realized That It's God's Way Of Washing Off Hippies.

I Wonder If There Were Any Goths In Gothic Times. They're Like: You Look Completely Appropriate. You Don't Look Stupid Or Lonely At All.