I Like People, For A Little While.

A Parade Looks Like A Bunch Of People Are Excited About Being In Traffic.

The Reason You Often Get In Comedy Is Because You're Not Getting Laid.

I Was Eating Some Candy And Looked On The Wrapper, And It Said Made From Natural And Artificial Flavors. You Could Just Say Flavors.

I Love Women, But I Feel Like You Can't Trust Some Of Them. Some Of Them Are Liars, You Know? Like I Was In The Park And I Met This Girl, She Was Cute And She Had A Dog. And I Went Up To Her, We Started Talking. She Told Me Her Dog's Name. Then I Said, 'does He Bite?' She Said, 'no.' And I Said, 'oh Yeah? Then How Does He Eat?' Liar.

I Think They Should Put Pies On The Fronts Of Trains, So That When They Hit Something It's At Least A Little Bit Funny.