I Like My Coffee Like I Like

I Did Bronze Survival Swimming. I Could Save People In A Bronzey Kind Of Way.

You Notice How They Always Put The Fruit And Veg At The Entrance To The Supermarket? You Go In Thinking 'this Is A Fresh Shop, Everything In Here Is Fresh! I Will Do Well To Shop Here'. You Never Go Straight To The Bit With The Toilet Paper, Loo Brushes And Such Do You? You'd Think 'this Is A Poo Shop! Everything In Here Is Themed On Poo!

When I First Came Out, I Thought, I Want To Walk Like A Real Woman, I Don't Want To Do Mincing Steps. And There Was Some Girl I Saw Walking Up Holloway Road In Islington Who Had This Long Languid Walk And I Thought, That's What I Like, So I Incorporated Her Walk Into Mine.

Before Birds Get Sucked Into Jet Engines, Do They Ever Think, Is That Rod Stewart In First Class?

I'm An Action Transvestite.