I Like Mitt Romney. He Looks Like

Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes. Not Even The Scanners Can Tell What Those Little Red Things Are.

I Spend Most Of My Free Time Under The House.

Mitt Romney Is Not Going To Be Running For President. So You Know What That Means. We Are Getting Closer And Closer To 'president Trump.'

John Kerry Says The 'w' In George W. Bush Stands For 'wrong.' But He Still Can't Explain What John Kerry Stands For.

I Heard Doctors Revived A Man Who Had Been Dead For 4-1/2 Minutes. When They Asked Him What It Was Like Being Dead, He Said It Was Like Listening To Yankees Announcer Phil Rizzuto During A Rain Delay.