I Know My Face Is Turning Red.

My Girlfriend And I Went To A Dinner Party The Other Night And We Ended Up Playing Charades. There Was Another Couple There That Was Deaf. They Were So Good.

Four Years Ago On This Very Day I Tried To Take My Own Life. And I Said, "zach, Do It In Front Of Your Co-workers And End The Misery." I Don't Know How Many Of You Ever Tried To Jump Off Of A Pizza Hut, But You'll Just Get A Sprained Ankle Out Of The Deal. Then You'll Have To Go Back Inside, And Serve Crazy Bread.

I Want To Do Another Reality Show. It's Based On The Mole. It's About Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It's Called "god, I Hope That's A Mole."

You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.

I Like Characters That Are Fragile And A Little Bit On The Edge .