I Know Everything Because I Know Nothing.

Junior Colleges Are High Schools With Ashtrays.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.

I Think Comedy Has Evolved Like Every Art Form, And People Probably Do Less Standing Around And Telling Jokes, And More Things That Have To Do With Reality.

If You Spend Your Life Walking Through Somebody Else's Museum, You Never Find Out Whether You're Rembrandt Or Not.

You're 28, Why Are You Going To Goth Clubs? Do What I Do, Sit At Home & Wait To Die. You Don't Have To Kill Yourself, You're Just Waiting.