I Knew It... I'm Surrounded By Assholes!

If You Stand On A Soapbox And Trade Rhetoric With A Dictator You Never Win.

The Audience. They See The Name Mel Brooks, They Want Something Really Funny. They Don't Want To Be Moved; They Don't Want To Be Taught Any Lessons. [...] I Get More Letters For twelve Chairs and life Stinks Than I Get From Any Other Movies, Because People Actually Agree With The Philosophy, Or Were Moved, Or They Love The Movie.

I'm Still A Horse That Can Run. I May Not Be Able To Win The Derby, But What Do You Do When You Retire? People Retire And They Vegetate. They Go Away And They Dry Up.

I'll Accept Bad Taste In A Minute, As Long As There's Some Great Comedy Minds And Performances.

All Short Women Have A Delayed Fuse. Marry A Taller Woman: My Wife Was An Inch Or Two Taller Than Me; It's A Sign Of Security.