I Just Don't Get Cats. To Me,

My Cousin Just Got Married For The Totally Wrong Reasons. She Married A Man For Money. She Wasn't Real Subtle About It. Instead Of Calling Him Her Fiancé, She Kept Calling Him Her Financee.

Men Do Not Like To Admit To Even Momentary Imperfection. My Husband Forgot The Code To Turn Off The Alarm. When The Police Came, He Wouldn't Admit He'd Forgotten The Code... He Turned Himself In.

I Burned Sixty Calories. That Should Take Care Of A Peanut I Had In 1962.

My Husband Gave Me A Necklace. It's Fake. I Requested Fake. Maybe I'm Paranoid, But In This Day And Age, I Don't Want Something Around My Neck That's Worth More Than My Head.

When I Was A Kid, I Had Two Friends, And They Were Imaginary And They Would Only Play With Each Other.