I Heard That Chivalry Was Dead, But

People Are Always Telling Me That Change Is Good. But All That Means Is That Something You Didn't Want To Happen Has Happened.

Women Are Socialized To Be Nice, To Be Docile. I Call It 'shrink To Fit': Shrink Yourself To Fit What Others Expect Of You.

Maybe That Whole Love Thing Is Just A Grown-up Version Of Santa Claus; Just A Myth We've Been Fed Since Childhood. So, We Keep Buying Magazines, Joining Clubs, And Doing Therapy And Watching Movies With Hit Pop Songs Played Over Love Montages All In A Pathetic Attempt To Explain Why Our Love Santa Keeps Getting Caught In The Chimney.

Oh, I'm So Inadequate. And I Love Myself!.

Through Clinton And Monica, Clinton And Hillary, The Scandal, The Impeachment, Iraq, Bruce And Demi, Ellen And Anne, I Have Remained Consistently And Nauseatingly Adorable. I Have, In Fact, Been Known To Cause Diabetes.