I Have To Stay True To Myself.

I Get All Of My Comedy From Cnn.

I Don't Know How This Company Got The Name National Shakespeare Company, Because It Was Literally Like Retards Employing Retards.

Sometimes We Have To Actually Say, I Think You're Really Funny, But None Of Your Jokes Are Going To Make It On The Air. So Just Answer My Questions. Seriously.

I've Been An Apple Guy Since The Mid 80's And That's When I Was Like, "boy, You Guys Really Got Me Here. I Know Exactly What You're Doing, Right Down To Your Price Points."

I'm A Complete Egomaniac. It Makes Me Feel Terrible To Say [being Interviewed] Is Hard. It's Taxing In A Way. Just 'cause It's A Lot Of Mental Energy Just To Keep Focused. I Actually Think It's Harder For Journalists.