I Have Friends Who Vote Tory, And

I Like To Shock People.

Fat People Are Brilliant In Bed. If I'm Sitting On Top Of You, Who's Going To Argue?

I Wasn't One Of Those Hideous Children Who Make Their Parents Sit Through Hour-long Performances When You're Seven. I Didn't Do Anything Like That Thankfully.

My Dad's A Very Sensitive Man, But As The Archetypal Rebellious Teenager, I Didn't Realise That.

I Can Honestly Say I've Never Sold Any Arms To A Repressive Foreign Regime While Reassuring Everyone At Home That The Weapons Will Be Used For Nice Things.