I Have Been Tight As A Tick!

Don't Be Taken In By The Guff That Critics Are Killing The Theater. Commonly They Sin On The Side Of Enthusiasm. Too Often They Give Their Blessing To Trash.

I Have Been Tight As A Tick! Fried As A Mink! Stiff As A Goat!

If You Really Want To Help The American Theater, Don't Be An Actress, Dahling. Be An Audience.

Fill What Is Empty, Empty What Is Full, And Scratch Where It Itches.

For Acting, Darlings, Is The World's Most Perilous Trade. Compared With Actors, Steeple Jacks And Deep-sea Divers Lead Snug And Placid Lives.