I Have A Theory That Children Remember

…the Amount Of Maintenance Involving Hair Is Genuinely Overwhelming. Sometimes I Think That Not Having To Worry About Your Hair Anymore Is The Secret Upside Of Death.

When You Have A Baby, You Set Off An Explosion In Your Marriage, And When The Dust Settles, Your Marriage Is Different From What It Was. Not Better, Necessarily; Not Worse, Necessarily; But Different.

A Man Who Finishes A Book Is Always Alone When He Finishes It.

I’m Really Not Interested In Women As Victims. Look At Me, I Get The Last Laugh ‘cause I Get To Be Funny About It.

You Can Settle For Reality, Or You Can Go Off, Like A Fool, And Dream Another Dream.