I Had A Wonderful Childhood, Which Is

I Gave A Funny Speech At My Wife's Birthday Party, And I'm Thinking, 'hey, I've Still Got It.'

Hitler Really Ruined That Mustache For Everybody. It’s Really An Interesting Mustache, But Now, No One Can Wear It.

I Was Planning On My Future As A Homeless Person. I Had A Really Good Spot Picked Out.

I Tolerate Lactose Like I Tolerate People.

I’d Rather Have The Thieves Than The Neighbors - The Thieves Don't Impose. Thieves Just Want Your Things, Neighbors Want Your Time.