I Find Human Contact Repulsive.

Weathermen Merely Forecast Rain To Keep Everyone Else Off The Golf Course

Most Practical Jokes, I'll Feel Too Bad For The Other Person So I'll Stop Just Before The Punchline.

I Don't Like To Be Out Of My Comfort Zone, Which Is About A Half An Inch Wide.

I'd Like To Start A Family, But You Have To Have A Date First.

I’d Rather Have The Thieves Than The Neighbors - The Thieves Don't Impose. Thieves Just Want Your Things, Neighbors Want Your Time.