I Had A Job As A Paralegal.

Anytime I'm Involved With Anything That's Well-received, It's A Surprise To Me.

I'm A Walking, Talking Enigma. We're A Dying Breed.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.

I Think Michael Moore Is A Hero. I Love Him.

Hitler Really Ruined That Mustache For Everybody. It’s Really An Interesting Mustache, But Now, No One Can Wear It.