I Had A Dog That Was So

Usain Bolt Won The Gold For The Men's 100- And 200-meter Dashes For The Second Olympics In A Row. You Know, He Has Been Running Since He Was In Elementary School - Kind Of Like Mitt Romney.

Bush Reiterated His Stand To Conservatives Opposing His Decision On Stem Cell Research. He Said Today He Believes Life Begins At Conception And Ends At Execution.

Never Perform For Your Family. They Either Laugh Too Hard Or Not At All.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld Said This Week There's A Good Chance We Never Get Bin Laden. Bin Laden! We Couldn't Even Get O.j.!

The Washington Bullets Are Changing Their Name. They Don't Want Their Team To Be Associated With Crime. From Now On, They'll Just Be Known As The Bullets.