I Grew Up Cursing A Lot.

The Canteen Boy, The Reason You Feel Bad For Him And You Can Laugh Is Because He, And I Guess A Lot Of My Characters, They Don't Notice They're Getting Made Fun Of. So They'll Say Something Back That's Not That Great A Quip, But In Their Mind They Won The Argument.

Sir One More Comment Like That And I Will Strangle You With My Microphone Wire!

I Drew The Duck Blue Because I've Never Seen A Blue Duck Before And, To Be Honest With You I Wanted To See A Blue Duck.

My Kids Don't Have A Trust Fund, They Have A Debt Fund. And When I Die, They're $4 Million In The Hole.

The Only Reason I Got Into Stand-up Was Because My Brother Told Me To. I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Do With My Life. I Was 17 And My Brother Went To A Comedy Club And He Said - You Can Do That.