I Got Into Comedy So I Could

The Regular Guy Still Relates To Him And Howard Is A $500 Million Guy Now Who Dates A Model And Drives About In A Limo All Day. But Howard Still Knows How To Make A Plumber Laugh And Those Guys Still Have Him On In The Morning, Because He Is A Real Talent.

Eddie Murphy Said Once In An Interview That Nothing Is Offensive If It's Funny. I Sort Of Agree With That, But If Something's Funny And You're The Subject Of It, Sometimes It's More Offensive. If Someone's Insulting You, You Want Them To Sound Like An Idiot.

I Found A Way For Her To Fall Asleep, Paris Hilton, Talk To Herself.

When You're On The Road A Lot, You're In Perpetual Search Of A Good Night's Sleep.

I'm The Type Of Guy Where One Thing Leads To Another And Eventually It Gets Awful. If I Put A $5 Bet On A Roulette Table Tonight At 10 O'clock, By Tomorrow At Noon I Would Be Running Guns To Cuba.