I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home,

You Know They Call Corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", But That's How It Comes Out Of The Ground. They Should Just Call It Corn, And Every Other Type Of Corn, Corn-off-the-cob. It's Not Like If Someone Cut Off My Arm They Would Call It "mitch", But Then Re-attached It, And Call It "mitch-all-together".

We're Gonna Have To Sweeten Some Of These Jokes For The Cd. You Know What Sweeten Means, Right? Sweeten Is A Show-biz Term For "add Sugar To".

I Haven't Slept For Ten Days, Because That Would Be Too Long.

A Fly Was Very Close To Being Called A Land, Because That's What It Does Half The Time.

You Know When You See An Advertisement For A Casino, And They Have A Picture Of A Guy Winning Money? That's False Advertising, Because That Happens The Least. That's Like If You're Advertising A Hamburger, They Could Show A Guy Choking. "this Is What Happened Once."