I Get Mail; Therefore I Am.

Nothing Defines Humans Better Than Their Willingness To Do Irrational Things In The Pursuit Of Phenomenally Unlikely Payoffs. This Is The Principle Behind Lotteries, Dating, And Religion.

If You Want To Kill An Idea Without Being Identified As The Assassin, Suggest That The Legal Department Take A Look At It.

Crackpot Is An Excellent Job Because The Expectations Are So Low. No One Ever Tells Crackpots That They Should Be Doing More.

If You Haven't Already Told Your Kids 'don't Fellate The President' Then You're Probably A Bad Parent.

You Already Barely Exist. Disappearing Entirely Won't Be That Much Of A Change.