I Get Accused All The Time Of

When People Look You In The Eye And Call You Stupid, Dont Look Away, But Tell Them That Half Of The World Is Stupid And They Are One Of Them Because They Are Dening Their Own Stupidity.

You Know," I Said, Holding My Ground. "i Gotta Tell You. The Goatee Thing? Yeah, Way Over. And You Know A Little Jewelry Really Does Go A Long Way. Just Something You Might Want To Consider. I'm Actually Glad You Stopped By, Because I Have A Couple Things I've Been Meaning To Say To You. Number One, About Your Wife? Yeah, She's A Skank. And Number Two, You Know That Whole Thing Where You Killed Jesse And Then Buried His Remains Out Back There? Yeah, Way Un-cool.

Jake Leaned On The Horn, Swearing Loudly. Gina Covered Her Eyes. Doc Flung His Arms Around Me, Burying His Face In My Lap, And Dopey, To My Great Surprise, Began To Scream Like A Girl, Very Close To My Ear.

Needless To Say, The Fact That He Actually Spoke To Me At All Practically Caused Me To Pass Out. And Then The Fact That He Was Actually Saying Something That Sounded Like It Might Be A Prelude To Asking Me Out - Well, I Nearly Threw Up. I Mean It. I Felt Really Sick, But In A Good Way.

My Original Inspiration Was My Mom: A Few Years After The Death Of My Dad, She Started Dating One My Teachers!