I Feel Like My Eyes Have Gonorrhea.

I Don't Care What Other People Think.

It's Unfortunate When Kids Get Hurt, But I Wish Parents Would Monitor What Their Kids Are Doing And Watching. It's Common Sense, Really.

People Think By Challenging Me They're Going To Show They're Tough. But I'm Not Tough. Decent Drinker. Not Such A Bad Kisser. But Not A Great Fighter.

What An Honor That Stephen Prouty Got Nominated For Best Makeup And Hairstyling For Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa. Am I As Stunned As Everyone Else We Didn’t Get The Nod For Best Picture? Well Of Course, Duh, But I Won’t Let That Take Away From My Happiness For Steve, Tony Gardner, And Our Whole Makeup Team. Wahoo!

Suffering Will Get You Great Footage. I Don't Know About Closer To God. Although There Have Been Times When I've Suffered To The Point Where I Think I Might Be About To Meet Him.