I Feel Like I Was Born And

If You're 1 Of The 3 Girls In Pics With A Greaseball Whose Arms Are Around You At A Club You Lose At Life. If You're The Greaseball You Win.

Are There Glass Shards In My Anus?!

When You Get Hit By A Car Sometimes Your Shoes Will Fly Off, Sometimes Your Pants Will Come Off, But I Was Not Fortunate Enough To See The Pants Portion.

I Want To Be Able To Challenge Myself. And Do Things That Are Away From What I Usually Do. Stand-up Is Safe For Me. I Can Do Stand-up In Front Of Twenty-five Thousand People, And I'm Like, "i Know How To Do This. This Is What I Do." I Want To Be A Little Scared.

You Can't Teach An Old Hater New Truths.