I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much;

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

A Girl Phoned Me The Other Day And Said... 'come On Over, There's Nobody Home.' I Went Over. Nobody Was Home.

It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife Kisses The Dog On The Lips, Yet She Won't Drink From My Glass.

Better To Keep Quiet And Let People Think You're An Idiot Than Speak Up And Confirm It.

I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me, The Only Thing The Parrot Knows How To Say Is, Quick Out The Window.