I Don't Mean This To Sound Hyperbolic

I Hate Bumper Stickers, You Can't Sum Anything Up. All You Do Is Paint Yourself In Some Caricaturist Corner.

[if Donald Trump Does Get Elected, I Will Be] Probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I Don't Know. I'll Probably End Up Working In The Cafeteria.

I Think I Could Have A Funnier, More Economic Sets. But That's The Comedy I Do. And I Understand If People Aren't Interested In It And Would Rather Listen To Someone Else. But I'll Never Understand The Anger People Have Toward Me.

What President Of The Airline Is Doing Is, He's Urging Everyone To Give Up Their Frequent Flyer Miles For Sick Kids... But As I Was Reading This, There Were Two Empty Seats Next To Me. Why Can't Sick Kids Sit There? If They're So Concerned With Sick Kids, Shouldn't They Have Like A Pen Of Sick Kids Next To The Gate?

Hopefully People Will Be Reinventing Comedy Forever And Ever. This Is Just What I Do, And It's A Type Of Comedy.