I Don't Know Why It Should Be,

The World Must Be Rather A Rough Place For Clever People. Ordinary Folk Dislike Them, And As For Themselves, They Hate Each Other Most Cordially.

I Will Not Take Up Your Time, Dear Boy, With Telling You What Is The Matter With Me. Life Is Brief, And You Might Pass Away Before I Had Finished. But I Will Tell You What Is Not The Matter With Me. I Have Not Got Housemaid’s Knee. Why I Have Not Got Housemaid’s Knee, I Cannot Tell You; But The Fact Remains That I Have Not Got It. Everything Else, However, I Have Got.

In The Future There Are Going To Be No Pretty Girls, For The Simple Reason There Will Be No Plain Girls Against Which To Contrast Them. Of Late I Have Done Some Systematic Reading Of Ladies Papers. The Plain Girl Submits To A Course Of "treatment." In Eighteen Months She Bursts Upon Society An Acknowledged Beauty.

I Don't Know Why It Should Be, I Am Sure; But The Sight Of Another Man Asleep In Bed When I Am Up, Maddens Me.

Oh, Give Me Back The Good Old Days Of Fifty Years Ago,“ Has Been The Cry Ever Since Adam's Fifty-first Birthday.