Cheese, Like Oil, Makes Too Much Of

I Plodded Conscientiously Through The Twenty-six Letters, And The Only Malady I Could Conclude I Had Not Got Was Housemaid's Knee.

People Who Have Tried It, Tell Me That A Clear Conscience Makes You Very Happy And Contented; But A Full Stomach Does The Business Quite As Well, And Is Cheaper, And More Easily Obtained.

What I Am Looking For Is A Blessing Not In Disguise.

After A Cup Of Tea (two Spoonsful For Each Cup, And Don't Let It Stand More Than Three Minutes,) It Says To The Brain, "now, Rise, And Show Your Strength. Be Eloquent, And Deep, And Tender; See, With A Clear Eye, Into Nature And Into Life; Spread Your White Wings Of Quivering Thought, And Soar, A God-like Spirit, Over The Whirling World Beneath You, Up Through Long Lanes Of Flaming Stars To The Gates Of Eternity!

What Readers Ask Nowadays In A Book Is That It Should Improve, Instruct And Elevate. This Book Wouldn't Elevate A Cow. I Cannot Conscientiously Recommend It For Any Useful Purposes Whatever. All I Can Suggest Is That When You Get Tired Of Reading "the Best Hundred Books," You May Take This For Half An Hour. It Will Be A Change.