I Dont Know How To Read. I

I Don't Think I Ever Played Any Sports Recreationally For My Own Pleasure. I Was Bad At Them From The Start.

I Remember Clearly That When I Was Little It Was Explained To Me [that] The Way That Babies Were Made Was That God Put The Baby Into Some Lady's Stomach, Right? And, At Some Point, I Learned How It Really Happened, And Really That Was The Beginning Of The End Of My Belief In God. Up Until That Point, It Had Always Been A Really Weird Act Of Intervention On God's Part.

I Don't Think I've Ever Stolen Anything.

I Remember When I First Got Married, There Was A Certain Amount Of Internet Traffic On The Subject Of, "who Is This Beard Who Is Allegedly Married To Ira Glass? Obviously, He's Gay."

I'm Going To Go With Chihuahua, Just Because I Can't Think Of Anything More Frightening Than A Giant Chihuahua.