I Don't Hold Any Candle For Drama

Even Nice Things Don't Make You Happy When You're Tired.

I Often Tell Audiences At The Start Of My Shows That I'm Not Gay Because I've Got Petitions From Lesbian Groups Saying 'can You Tell People You're Heterosexual Because You're Giving Us A Bad Name.'

I Did Try When I Wasn't Doing The Singing To Do As Much Comedy As I Could Because I Thought With Comic Relief You Are Duty Bound To Anyway.

I Used To Get Nervous About Three Weeks Before A Gig... Now I've Managed To Condense It Down To A Manageable Ten Minutes.

It's Got Too Much Hard Work Slapping Them And Telling Them To Shut Up.