I Don't Have A Girlfriend. But I

I Like Kit-kat, Unless I'm With Four Or More People.

The Only Way I Could Get My Old Cd Into Stores Is If I Took One In And Leave It. "sir, You Forgot This." "no, I Did Not. That Is For Sale. Please Alphabetize It."

I Used To Be A Hot-tar Roofer. Yeah, I Remember That... Day.

I Have An Underwater Camera Just In Case I Crash My Car Into A River, And At The Last Minute I See A Photo Opportunity Of A Fish That I Have Never Seen.

This Shirt Is "dry-clean Only"... Which Means It's Dirty.