I Don't Grasp Things This Early In

It Has Been Explained To Me That Toys Are Packaged In Shards, To Be Assembled By The Middle-aged And Butter-fingered, Because This Makes It Easier For The Shippers. ... If They Had To Spend Hours And Hours Putting Handlebars Onto Bicycles ... They Would Repent Their Ways And Deliver Something That Looked Like A Rocking Horse And Not Like The Result Of A Small Street Accident.

Now The Thing About Having A Baby - And I Can't Be The First Person To Have Noticed This - Is That Thereafter You Have It.

Being Divorced Is Like Being Hit By A Mack Truck. If You Live Through It, You Start Looking Very Carefully To The Right And To The Left.

... It's Impossible To Register Any Emotion Without Using Some Muscle Which, In Time, Will Produce A Wrinkle. ... By The Time She Is Thirty, A Starlet Has Been Carefully Taught To Smile Like A Dead Halibut. The Eyes Widen, The Mouth Drops Open, But The Eye Muscles Are Never Involved.

To Me Having A Party Is Something Like Having A Baby. The Fact That You Got Through The Last One Alive Is Not Somehow Sufficiently Reassuring Now.