I Do Not Like Sports, Unless You

I Do Not Like Sports, Unless You Consider Treating All Humankind With Love And Respect A Sport.

I Mean, I've Had Bartenders And Waiters And Waitresses Make A Comment About A Joke Of Mine, Like Pointing Out Some Sort Of Logic Error Or Something That I've Never Even Thought About, And They're Right.

If I'm At A Party And Someone Puts On A Blues Brothers Tape, I Tend To Go Nuts.

Anyone Who Bombs Is My Friend.

I Am The The Type To Have A Personal Experience With A Celebrity, But I'm Too Classy To Bring That Up.