I Didn't Really Want To Kill Myself,

I Think That Standup Has Always Been An Acquired Taste And There Was Always Only A Handful Of Performers That Were Really Inspired.

It Amazes Me That We Are All On Twitter And Facebook. By "we" I Mean Adults. We're Adults, Right? But Emotionally We're A Culture Of Seven-year-olds. Have You Ever Had That Moment When Are You Updating Your Status And You Realize That Every Status Update Is Just A Variation On A Single Request: "would Someone Please Acknowledge Me?

I Used To Do A Lot Of Drugs. I Didn't Stop Because I Didn't Enjoy Them; I Stopped Because I Couldn't Handle The Commitment.

I'm Not A Racist. It's Really Case By Case; It's Not Ethnicity Specific. It's Just The Way I React To Things That Are Different. I Think That's Normal. Everyone's Nervous When They're Confronted With Things That They Don't Understand Or Are Different. That's A Normal Human Reaction. It Doesn't Become Racist 'til You Say Things Like, 'oh, There's A Lot Of Them.'

I Came Upon Whatever I'm Doing Organically. I Didn't Study Anything. I Don't Have Any Real Aspirations Other Than To Connect With Somebody, And To Have The Conversation Be Genuine. That's The Best That Can Happen. Even If It Only Happens For 10 Minutes In An Episode. But I Think What People Forget Is That You Don't Have To Try To Get A Comedian To Be Funny. Comedians Are Innately Funny. That The Real Challenge Of Talking To Them Is To Get Them Talking About Real Things And Then See Where They Need To Be Funny. And Let Them Do That On Their Own Volition.