I Demand My Right To A Private

People Are Hypocrites. If You Ask Them What They Want To See On Tv, They'll Tell You They Want Better Quality Programming. And Then What Do They Watch? 'gilligan's Island.'

Egyptian President Sadat Had A Belly Dancer Entertain President Nixon At A State Dinner. Mr. Nixon Was Really Impressed. He Hadn't Seen Contortions Like That Since Rose Mary Woods.

I See A Lot Of New Faces. Especially On The Old Faces.

Americans, Too Many Of Them, Take Themselves Too Seriously. You're Going To Get Rapped - By The Viewers, By The Sponsors And By The Network Brass - If You Joke About Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Scientists, Bus Drivers, I Don't Care Who. You Can't Make A Joke About Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, Politicians, Dogs Or Cats. In Fact, Politicians, Dogs And Cats Are The Most Sacred Institutions In America.

The Champagne They Have Stored Is Getting More Valuable Every Year.