I Can't Take A Well-tanned Person Seriously.

To Anyone Who Has Ever Been Owned By A Cat, It Will Come As No Surprise That There Are All Sorts Of Things About Your Cat You Will Never, As Long As You Live, Forget. Not The Least Of These Is Your First Sight Of Him Or Her.

I Will Omit But I Will Not Distort.

You Cannot Expect Everything Even From The Friendliest Cat. It Is Still A Cat.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.

There Were Three Terrible Ages Of Childhood - Zero To 10, 10 To 20, And 20 To 30.