I Can Remember Staring At The Orphanage

I'm Thinking Of Buying A Church And Changing It Around: Maybe Selling Crack And Having A Few Whores In The Pew.

I Had No Shoes, And I Felt Sorry For Myself Until I Met A Man Who Had No Feet. I Took His Shoes. Now I Feel Better.

If God Created Everything, He's Got A Serious Quality Control Problem.

Once You Leave The Womb, Conservatives Don't Care About You Until You Reach Military Age. Then You're Just What They're Looking For. Conservatives Want Live Babies So They Can Raise Them To Be Dead Soldiers.

If The Cops Didn't See It, I Didn't Do It!