I Can Read Minds, But I'm Illiterate.

I'd Hate To Be A Giraffe With A Sore Throat.

That Would Be Cool If The Earth's Crust Was Made Out Of Graham Cracker. It Would Disappear Just Like The Ozone Layer, But For Completely Different Reasons.

I Want To Rob A Bank With A Bb Gun. "give Me All Your Money Or I Will Give You A Dimple! I Will Be Rich, You Will Be Cute. We Both Win."

I Want To Get A Job Naming Kitchen Appliances. That Seems Easy; Refrigerator, Toaster, Blender. You Just Say What The Thing Does And Add "er".

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.