I Bought These Shoes In Taiwan, And

I Was In The Far East And I Went Into A Restaurant And I Ordered Octopus And The Waiter Said: "it Takes Four Hours." I Asked Why And He Said: "it Keeps Turning Off The Gas."

I Bought These Shoes In Taiwan, And They Said In The Inside "made Around The Corner."

I Have A Pacemaker In, But It Doesn't Work Very Well, Because Every Time I Fart The Garage Door Opens.

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.

A Man Goes Into Boots And Says: "have You Got Any Viagra?" "do You Have A Prescription?" Asks The Chemist. "no," He Replies, "but 'i've Got A Photograph Of The Wife."