I Believe That I Have Such A

I'm The Person Who Says Every Single Thing She Thinks, Sometimes To Others' Amusement, And Almost Always To My Detriment.

I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About Excess Movement.

I Yearn To Be A Woman Of More Depth, But I'm Not So Fond Of The Path I'd Need To Follow To Get There.

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.