I Believe In Equality. Equality For Everybody.

Tweeting Is Really Only Good For One Thing - It's Just Good For Tweeting... It Is Rewarding, Because It's Just Its Own Reward. It's Sort Of Like Heaven.

How Is It Possible To Miss A Woman Whom You Kept At A Distance, So That When She Was Gone You Would Not Miss Her?

I Thought Yesterday Was The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life But It Turns Out Today Is.

I Actually Credit Twitter With Fine-tuning Some Joke-writing Skills. I Still Feel Like I'm Working At It.

I Try Not To Think About Legacy Because It Is All ­folly. If You Study History, Even Recent History, You'll Find Many People Who Were Quite Significant In Their Time But Are Completely Forgotten.