I Became A Yankees Fan For A

I Got My Shot At The Movies. I Love Doing Standup Live. I Didn't Know What I Wanted To Do. I Wanted To Try Movies, So I Gave It A Shot. I Had Two Shots And I Didn't Really Do It. That Wasn't Really Happening For Me. On The Second Movie I Got To Meet The Girl That Would Be My Wife. So I Got To Hang Out With Her And Get Engaged, And Get The Whole Wedding Thing. It Was Really Great.

Bernie Sanders' Presidential Campaign Announced That It Raised Over $1.5 Million In The 24 Hours After He Announced His Bid. Meanwhile, A 12-year-old On Kickstarter Just Raised $7 Million In Five Minutes After Announcing His Idea For Juice Box Water Guns.

In A Speech In Texas, Donald Trump Called Hillary Clinton 'easily The Worst Secretary Of State In The History Of Our Country.' When Asked What He Based That On, Trump Said, 'i Heard Me Say It Just Now. So It's Gotta Be True.'

A Miami Judge Issued Florida's First Gay Marriage License Yesterday, Which Makes It The 36th State To Legally Perform Gay Marriages. Of Course, Most Florida Residents Are Too Old To Understand What That Means. They'll Say, 'well, I Think All Marriages Should Be Gay, And Merry.'

It Was The 60th Anniversary Of 'face The Nation.' During His Interview, President Obama Said, 'our Country Doesn't Fear The Future. We Grab It.' Nothing Says You Grab The Future Like Going On A 60-year-old Show Hosted By A 77-year-old-man To Speak To A 90-year-old Audience.