The 'tonight Show' Didn't Seem Like An

When You Were A Kid, It [work In Ibm] Seemed Like An Awesome Job. I'd Get To Go To Work And Have A Briefcase. I Loved How Dad Wore A Tie And Got A Car. I Didn't Know If All Those Things Came Together. I'd See My Dad Go Off To Work And We'd Wait For Him To Come Home, And We'd All Be Excited To See Him.

In New York, There Are So Many Potholes, They're Like Craters On The Moon. That's Another Traffic Thing.

Rick Perry Said Donald Trump Is Unfit To Be President And Called For Him To Immediately Withdraw From The Race. Then He Said, 'and That's Coming From Me!'

There Are Reports That If Joe Biden Runs For President, He Would Promise To Serve For Only One Term - Because Nothing Says Confidence Like Promising Your Presidency Would Be Over Quickly.

This Morning My Dad Called Me Up And Said, 'so, Tonight's Your Last Show, Huh.' And I Said, 'no, Dad, That's Someone Else.'