I Am A Man Of My Word…

I Love Catching A Snapshot Of Something That Is Just About To Happen. Or Maybe Something That Just Happened, You Know. But I Like Especially That Just-before Kind Of Feeling.

I Saw A Door That Said Exit Only. So I Entered Through It And Went Up To The Guy Working There And Said "i Have Good News. You Have Severely Underestimated That Door Over There. By Like A Hundred Percent."

When A Dalmatian Sees A Cow He Must Be Like, 'what The Hell Happened To Him? I Am High Right Now. That Dalmatian Is Fat And Smeary.' When The Cow Sees The Dalmatian He Must Be Like, 'he Looks Amazing. I Am So Out Of Shape, This Is Ridiculous. My Tits Are On The Ground Here.

I Think They Should Put Pies On The Fronts Of Trains, So That When They Hit Something It's At Least A Little Bit Funny.

Never Forget Where You Came From. That's What I Think When I Walk Into A Cave.