How I Imagined Myself Being 50 Is

To Many, Homer May Appear Lazy And A Loser, But He's Just Much Misguided. He's Boorish, Sure, But Well Meaning And, I Guess, The One Thing We Have In Common Is The Pursuit Of Lousy Diets.

I Always Enjoyed Writing. I Did Playlets In High School, I Did Radio Shows In College. That's One Of The Reasons I Went Down To Second City, Because You Could Do Acting And Writing.

How I Imagined Myself Being 50 Is Not How I Am Feeling Now. You Think You'll Be Different, But I Still Feel Like I Am About 12 Years Old - Mentally, Not Physically.

Oh, Everything's Too Damned Expensive These Days. This Bible Cost 15 Bucks! And Talk About A Preachy Book! Everybody's A Sinner! Except This Guy.

I've Made A Kind Of Pact With Myself Where I Said, It Doesn't Matter What It Is As Long As I'm Acting.