Hitler Really Ruined That Mustache For Everybody.

Every Relationship Is Just So Tenuous And Precarious.

I Think That For The Most Part, When I Started Doing Comedy, It Had Become Very Commercialized.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.

Most People Are Completely Unaware Of Their Breath. They Violate Your Space, They Have No Idea That They Have Halitosis.

Give A Guy A Girlfriend And A Great Job, He Doesn’t Need Therapy.