Hey, What If Those Crop Circles Are

I Am Proof That Einstein's "e Equals M C Squared" Is Wrong. My Mass Has Increased, But My Energy Has Dropped.

I'm Actually Equal Parts Cynicism And Apathy. I'm Always Willing To Believe The Worst As Long As It Doesn't Take Too Much Effort.

Parenting Is The Easiest Job To Get - You Just Have To Screw Up Once And It's Yours.

Only Man Is A Narcissistic Enough Species To Think That A Highly Evolved Alien Life Force Would Travel Across Billions And Billions Of Light-years- A Group Of Aliens So Intelligent, So Insouciant, So Utterly Above It All, They Feel No Need Whatsoever To Equip Their Spacecraft With Windows So That They Can Gaze Out On All That Celestial Beauty-but Then Immediately Upon Landing, Their First Impulse Is To Get In Some Hick's Ass With A Flashlight.

If You're A Man And You Have Big Tits, Don't Wear A Tight T-shirt, Okay? It Confuses The Children!