I'm Actually Equal Parts Cynicism And Apathy.

Ouch! And Marino Goes Down Quicker Than His Boonesfarm-infused Sister In The Back Of My '68 Cutlass On Our First Date After Watching 'love Story' At The Drive-in.

The Current Tax Code Is Harder To Understand Than Bob Dylan Reading Finnegans Wake In A Wind Tunnel.

It's Foolish To Be Prejudiced. There Are So Many Reasons To Hate People On An Individual Basis.

A Good Rule Of Thumb Is If You've Made It To 35 And Your Job Still Requires You Wear A Nametag, You've Probably Made A Serious Vocational Error.

The Aclu Spent This Entire Holiday Season Protesting Public Displays Of The Nativity Scene. Yeah, That's The Problem With America Right Now: Public Displays Of Christ's Birth, That's The Problem. It's Unbelievable To Me. The Aclu Will No Longer Fight For Your Right To Put Up A Nativity Scene, But They'll Fight For The Right Of The Local Freak Who Wants To Stumble Onto The Scene And Have Sex With One Of The Sheep.