Here In New York City, It's Cold.

Hey, Guess Who's Gay? The Green Lantern From The Comic Books. Today Mitt Romney Knocked Him Down And Shaved His Head.

Bad News, It's Going To Be A Huge Environmental Disaster, The Oil Rig Down There In The Gulf Of Mexico. The Good News Is They Think Now That The Oil Spill Will Be Diluted By The Melting Ice Caps.

Over The Weekend, Of Course, Down There In Washington, D.c., They Had The Big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do You Know Who Was Really Funny? President Obama. So Funny, In Fact, He Has Already Been Promised 'the Tonight Show' In Five Years.

The Last Time The French Asked For 'more Proof' It Came Marching Into Paris Under A German Flag

You Know, We Had The Elections Earlier In The Week, And A Dead Woman, In Pennsylvania, Somehow Was On The Ballot And She Was Elected To City Council. A Dead Woman Actually Elected! And I'm Thinking, Well, I Guess There Is Still Hope For Al Gore.