He Said, "hi, Gorgeous," Which I Think

Look, I Can't Go Out With You, Because... Because... Because I'm A Lesbian.

Unbelievable! I Said, "what Would I Be Doing Walking The Streets At Night As A Stuffed Olive- Gate-crashing Cocktail Parties?

And A Secret Inward Voice In My Head Was Saying (in A Strange Breathy Voice...) Yes, Yessss, I Will Pop Round To The Blind Pig. I Will 'pop' Round Because Guess Who Lives At The Blind Pig? It Is Not A Blind Pig, It Is Alex.

There He Is, Tall, Tanned, Italian, Sophisticated. So What Do You Do?" I Said, "er, Leap On Him And Snog Him Within An Inch Of His Life? Taking Care Not To Strangle Myself On His False Beard, Or Disturb His Banana.

Your Soul Shines Through Even If You Haven't Got Mascara On